


all i've ever known

by smokingthedrugs



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: (i think???), Coming of Age, Growing Up, Kindergarten, M/M, Preschool, basically the boyf's lives together, boyf riends — Freeform, i'll add tags as i add chapters, idk what this is. forgive me., rated 'm' for idk what to expect, the boy's are too pure, update scheduel is meh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-22 05:44:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12474776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokingthedrugs/pseuds/smokingthedrugs
Summary: a bmc life story??? idk. just had some ideas and hc i wanted to get out.i'll come up w/ a better summary later.





	1. building blocks

Every story had a beginning, and Jeremy and Michael's was in preschool. The third day to be exact, when Michael was five and Jeremy was four, and Michael had made a daring decision to search for friends.

After a few moments of free time, he'd found a small boy playing alone in the house area, which he thought wasn't right. Why would this boy be alone? He looked nice. He had big blue eyes, lots of freckles on his cheeks, and he had a red backpack, which was Michael's favourite colour.

(Obviously. Red was the coolest colour.)

So, deeming the boy cool, Michael approached him, pushing his glasses up his face and extending his hand, just like his dad had told him. He'd said it was polite, and his dad was always right. And Michael wanted to be nice to the boy.

It took Michael a moment or so to be noticed, but eventually the other's head turned towards Michael, and he stumbled back a bit, which made Michael giggle.

"Hi!" He said enthusiastically, showing off a toothy grin- as well as his front tooth that was missing. He was proud of that.

The boy blinked at him with his big eyes, looking a little confused. And nervous. He pointed to Michael's hand questioningly, and Michael quickly understood what he was aiming at, giving a small 'oh!' before explaining himself.

"Dad says you should shake hands when you just meet. 'Cause it's nice and stuff! Just, pretend you're holding my hand," He started, offering it out to Jeremy once more. The boy gave a small nod, doing as Michael said, though his hands were a little shaky, and he was taking a bit longer than Michael wanted, because he wanted to learn more about this boy, and to show him the dinosaurs he'd brought that day.

But Michael could be patient. He was good at that, his mom said. He could wait for dinner without bouncing too much anymore, and he was good at using a fork and a spoon with his rice like she'd taught him. Even though it took longer. Just like with the boy with the nice freckles and fluffy hair, he could wait.

His smile widened when he felt Jeremy's hand finally in his, and he shook it as best as a five year old could. "See? Then you gotta say your name."

"W-why?" He finally hears the other speak, pursing his lips at the way he said the word. Like it was too hard, and he was tripping over the syllables. But once again, Michael brushed past it. Honestly, it was kinda cool to him, and he liked it.

"Because my dad's smart, and he says it's good manners. Plus, I think you're nice! So I wanna be nice too." Jeremy's skin reddened slightly, and Michael laughed- though, not at him. It just looked funny on his face.

"Uh-"

"Here, I'm Michael," Michael let go of Jeremy's hand lightly, deciding that he could tell the boy his name first to tell him what he meant. It was fun to say his name anyways. He'd just gotten a hang of it, and was now able to stick his chin out proudly as he introduced himself.

Jeremy looked as if he was trying to form the name silently, his face looking a bit struggled. Eventually, Jeremy gave another small nod, and opened his mouth to say something back, which made Michael slightly giddy.

"I-I-I'm J-Jeremiah." He spoke quietly, looking as if he was trying to push past the stutter as hard as possible. It wasn't like Michael minded, anyways. Jeremy's voice was different, and he liked it.

"Hi, Miah!" Michael said happily, bouncing on his feet eagerly. Jeremy gave a confused expression, and Michael waved it off, grabbing Jeremy's hand this time to lead him to the toys, Jeremy letting out a small yelp before following beside him carefully.

"That's n-n-not my n-name," Jeremy blinked at him a few times, keeping beside Michael as he guided him through the preschool.

"Your name is hard," Michael shrugged, and used his hand to pat Jeremy's arm lightly. "And we're friends, so we can call each other whatever we want. Right?" Michael lit up even further when he saw the beginnings of a smile on Jeremy's lips, feeling accomplished.

"Y-yeah. Okay, M-M-Mikey." Michael gave a little pout at the nickname, since only his cousin Nicole could call him that, but he decided to change his mind. Only Jeremy was allowed now, because they were friends. And he liked the way Jeremy said it better. He liked how Jeremy’s words sounded.

He liked Jeremy; Jeremy was cool.

~~~

At the end of the day, they wouldn't let go of one another, even when their parents had come to pick them up. They'd cemented the fact that they were now best friends, by sharing snacks- even though it was against the rules- and Michael trading Jeremy his favourite new dinosaur for one of Jeremy's awesome blue cars. Michael thought it was a good trade, and Jeremy seemed to as well, the small smile from earlier morphing into a grin.

Neither of them wanted to leave, vowing to hide in their cubbies until their moms' left, but they couldn't. And after a big hug, they promised to play the next day and still be best friends, and Michael stuck to his promise. It was a pinky promise after all. He couldn't break one of those ever.

And he didn't. The next day he rushed over to the carpet beside Jeremy, glad to finally see him after an entire night of telling his parents every single thing he knew about him, and he envelope him in an embrace, Jeremy reciprocating, before going on to talk about things that they liked, like how Michael and Jeremy both liked to try out the old Pac-Man game at the town arcade.

Which was awesome.

Jeremy was awesome.

Michael really liked Jeremy. More than candy, and lemonade, and even his favourite songs. And he was gonna be his best friend forever, because Jeremy was the best, and definitely super fun to hang out with.

Being friends with Jeremy made him happy, and he liked that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so!!! this is a thing!!! and a mess!!! bear with me. I'll get everything all nice and organized later. 
> 
> crit is encouraged!!! i live for that shit,,


	2. please come to our house

Michael had never been over to another person's house in his life, except his grandparents and cousins. But they didn't count. They were family, and he was used to seeing his family.

But, due to his lack of other friends, he'd only ever visited them.

That is, until kindergarten. He and Jeremy had been friends for a whole year now, and he'd even given Jeremy his cookie on his birthday last November.

(Jeremy was really happy about it. Nobody else got him anything, just sang 'Happy Birthday' with the rest of the class. But Michael had been his friend since September, it was his job to make Jeremy happy.)

Jeremy was most definitely his favourite person. And when the boy asked him to come to his house one day during school, he freaked out.

Not in a bad way, but in an arm flappy, six year old screeching in glee way. So much so, that the teacher had to ask him to stop, or he needed to sit in the quiet area to calm down. So he calmed down on his own, lowering his voice to a regular tone.

"You want me to come over?" Michael asked gently, still shifting around in his seat, because he couldn't sit still at the moment. He needed to move somehow.

Jeremy nodded eagerly, smiling widely. Michael could see the space where his bottom tooth used to be, the first one he'd lost.

(They were playing at the park, and Jeremy fell off the swing, landing face first into the gravel. He was really clumsy, Michael had learned. And while Michael tried to calm him down, making Jeremy bite down on his sleeve to make the bleeding go away, they both realized Jeremy's sudden lack of a tooth, and Jeremy immediately stopped crying, squeaking happily and running to his mom- who freaked out a little, but that was besides the point.)

"Y-y-yeah! I was t-talkin' to dad, and h-h-he said that if it w-was okay with- w-w-with mom, t-then-th-then I c-could ask y-you! And she said y-yes!" Michael had grown used to Jeremy's stutter at that point, and he knew well at that point how much it showed when he was excited. Which Michael was too.

"That's awesome!"

"I kn-know! Y-y-you gotta ask your m-mom, Mikey!" Michael nodded happily, and spent the rest of the day taking to Jeremy about it while they used the crayons, and played with the sand table- kindergarten had a lot more things to do than preschool, and then needed to utilize everything.

The only time they stopped talking was at the end of the day, when their parents came to pick them up. Jeremy was hanging off of Michael's sleeve as he went up to his mom, and both were practically jumping up and down.

"Hi, Jeremiah," Michael's mom smiled, leaning down a little so she could look at the two at a similar level, and gave the both of them a soft, mom-smile. Jeremy gave a shy wave.

"H-h-hi, Mikey's m-mom," He said quietly, just like Jeremy did when he was talking to anyone other than Michael. Before she could say anything else, Jeremy gave him a look, and of course he immediately understood, standing up tall and speaking happily.

"Jerm says I can come to his house!" His mom gave a small laugh in response, looking back towards Jeremy.

"Is that so?"

"Y-yeah!" Jeremy spoke mostly to Michael, the excitement between the two quite obvious.

"M-m-mom said he c-could."

"Can I, _please_?" Michael cut in, pulling away from Jeremy for a moment to take a step closer to him mom, giving her a puppy dog look, the kind that could get him ice cream after dinner even when he wasn't allowed.

"Please? I promise I'll eat all the healthy stuff in my lunch, and finish dinner and clean my room and the basement, and-"

"Michael." He stopped, backing up for a moment. He didn't know if he was in trouble for rambling again, like that time he went on and on about how much. he liked those light up shoes that Jakob in his class had for probably an hour. But judging by the wide smile on her face, he didn't think so. He stepped back to Jeremy, taking his hand, because they were best friends and best friends were allowed to hold hands, and they both looked at her pleadingly.

"Please...?" He said quietly, and she laughed, nodding her head.

"Yes, you can go to Jeremy's house. I just need to talk to your dad first. How does that sound?" The both of them didn't reply, only grabbing each other's arms and hopping up and down as they cheered.

~~~

When Michael got home, he finished his spelling homework right away, and sat at the dining table until his dad got home at dinner.

They all talked, and his mom said he talked to Jeremy's mom, and that he could go to his house until they picked him up for dinner.

He bombarded the both of them with hugs, and spent the rest of the night rambling on about how awesome Jeremy was, and said 'thank you' so many times it started sounding weird to him.

~~~

The next day, Jeremy went home with Jeremy and his mom, in their car. It was bigger than his own, and according to Jeremy they had two. Since his dad needed to get to work. And Michael was in awe. Especially when they saw his house. Jeremy's house was much bigger than his, with four bedrooms and two bathrooms.

It was awesome. And Jeremy had a Game Cube in the living room, something that Michael was asking for when he turned seven. He and Jeremy played around for a while- three hours to be exact, he made sure to remember- and Jeremy even snuck them granola bars.

And when his mom came to pick him up, he didn't want to let go of Jeremy's arm. He wished he could live with Jeremy. Or even better, they could have their own house. And keep candy in the cupboards and have bunk beds.

He said goodbye to Jeremy, promising that one day they could have their own house together, which made Jeremy giggle and nod, waving goodbye to him along with Jeremy's mom, who'd been in the kitchen the majority of Michael's time there.

He ran in circles to the car, his mom having to hold his sleeve to make him stop, and he told her about what they'd done.

~~~

He stayed up half an hour past his bed time talking about Jeremy's house, and how they were gonna live together, and how he wanted a dog. Which got him into asking for a dog, and his parents just tucked him in, telling him to hush and tell him the next day.

Michael was tired. Really tired, from running around with Jeremy all day, but he was happy. And he wanted to go over again.

Which he did. Eventually. And Jeremy went to his. It became a common thing. They'd visit each other at least twice a week. And Michael enjoyed it, because he liked being around Jeremy so often. Since, well, Jeremy was his favourite. Of course. And Jeremy said he was his favourite too, which made him smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who knows where the chap title is from???
> 
> also, this was just a lil idea i had. i wouldn't be surprised if i went back and edited this later. it's a lol messy i guess, but it's mike's perspective and he's a kid, so,,,
> 
> oh! also! if anyone has any ideas for these lil chaps, lemme know!! i can try and do requests!!
> 
> and leave some crit,,, dunno if i've mentioned, but i live for that shit. 
> 
> thanks!!


	3. whatever i lack, you make up

Grade one was tougher than Michael would have thought. It wasn't like kindergarten, where all they had to do was practice their alphabet and learn letters.

No, now they had _periods_ and _subjects_ , and it was hard. But, eventually he got the hang of it. He wasn't doing the best like Richard, but he wasn't failing either. He even got a three-plus in their last addition test, which he was extremely happy about.

But, while he was getting threes, his best friend was getting ones. _Sometimes_ two-minuses. And the last time Michael had come over, Jeremy crumpled up his subtraction quiz and hid it under his bed, explaining that he'd been grounded for the entire night the day before when his mom found out about his marks. Which sucked. He wasn't even allowed to check his Webkinz account, or feed his pet or anything.

(His pet was a blue jay, given to him by Michael for their second ‘Friend-aversary’ as they had dubbed it. They named him ‘Inky’ after the blue ghost in Pac-Man. Jeremy had given him one too, a lion named ‘Mufasa’- because Michael loved the Lion King, _obviously_ \- and they'd started their accounts together on Michael's home computer, since Webkinz was fun, and really cool too. At least, according to some of the girls in their class.)

So, after school one day, Michael- now seven, and very much a big kid who didn't need parental supervision- went to the park with Jeremy, the two of them taking a spot on the bench under the shade, Michael trying his best to teach Jeremy how to add hundreds.

“I d-don't freaking get i-it, Michael,” Jeremy groaned, his stutter still present, yes, but his ability to say Michael's name having changed a bit, now able to really pronounce each syllable and sound. The boy was pointing to a problem in the sheet, tapping his sneakers on the ground impatiently.

“What part?” Michael leaned a bit closer, looking over Jeremy's sheet, and back to him. He was scowling at the paper, as if it had pushed him or something, and Michael almost cracked a smile. Except, he knew his friend was frustrated, and he really wanted to help.

“Just…” Jeremy held the sheet with both hands, bringing it close to his face and seemingly examining it. After a moment, he crumpled it up, shoving it next to him, and crossing his arms.

“Hey- why'd you do that?” Michael picked it back up, working on smoothing it out so Jeremy didn't get in trouble and have to sit against the wall at lunch like Michael had when he accidentally tore the corner of a sheet in social studies. Jeremy put his hands over his face, only responding with a grunt, and pulling his legs up onto the bench.

“Jer?” Jeremy didn't make any effort to respond this time, turning so his back was facing Michael. He could notice the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed, though it looked quicker than usual. And being a Jeremy Heere Expert, Michael knew that it meant something was wrong, and he gently put his hand on Jeremy's back.

“C’mon, let’s take a break. Wanna go play on the swings?” He asked lightly, and Jeremy started shaking, curling in on himself further. That had Michael even more worried, putting his math folder aside and scooting closer to Jeremy.

“You okay, Jermy?” They stayed quiet for a few moments, Jeremy sniffling, and Michael patting his arm, until Jeremy turned to face him, tears running down his cheeks.

“N-n-no! No- I don't- d-d-don't get it at all. It m-makes my head hurt- a-and my eyes are burning a-a-and- I can't even _read_ i-it anymore! There's too many n-n-numbers and steps a-and-!” Michael was a little familiar with things like this at this point, Jeremy crying sometimes because he didn't get things. Or, when he just burst into tears in the middle of lunch like that one time. And it made him want to cry too, because he hated seeing Jeremy sad. So, he pulled him into a big hug, staying quiet as he let Jeremy calm down a bit, and let him be the one to pull away first.

“H-h-how do you do it, Mikey…?” Michael brought his arms back to his sides, blinking at Jeremy a few times.

“What d’you mean?” He tilted his head a little, thinking to himself. He honestly didn't know that Jeremy meant, so he couldn't answer him right away. Which made him feel bad, because that's what best friends did, right? But then again, sometimes he needed to be patient. He knew that. And his mom told him that friends were always patient with each other. She hadn't lied to him before, and either way, moms didn't lie.

Once again, it took Jeremy a bit to respond. He was tripping over his words worse than usual, looking down and playing with his sleeves. He didn't talk until after he took a long, deep breath, that Michael swore he could _see_ being exhaled.

“Everything.” He finally said, looking as if it had taken a lot of strength to get the word out. Michael frowned, opening his mouth to argue. He wasn't good at everything. At all, really. Not how the teachers wanted it. He was _okay_. But not great. But before he could voice this, Jeremy was mumbling, and Michael was leaning in to hear him.

“I'm s-s-so dumb…” He huffed out another breath, and Michael's frown grew even wider.

“Hey! You're not dumb, Jeremy. You're super smart.” Jeremy looked unconvinced, is he decided to continue.

“Remember last week when you got a sticker when we were doing spelling questions? I didn't. Mrs. B. had to talk to me at recess, but you did good.”

“Because I g-guessed. I-i-it was on ac-accident.”

“But you guessed the right one!” Jeremy looked down. Then back to him, and down again, biting his fingernails- a habit he'd picked up a few months ago.

(Sometimes it got so bad, that Jeremy's fingers started bleeding, and Michael had to help him put bandaids on them all. But he always said they burned, and constantly chewed at them anyways.)

“But I c-c-could-” Breath. “-couldn't even r-read the- t-the question. I c-can't read any-a-anything! I'm still on le-level one books.”

“I'm only level two,” Michael cut in, his tone soft, and he nodded a little to support his point. Jeremy just shook his head, rubbing at his eyes.

“But that's b-b-better. Everybody i-is better. Y’know B-brooke-b-b-Brooklynn went on level t-three yesterday? And s-sh-she was the only o-one the s-same as me…”

“Jeremiah,” Michael put his hands on Jeremy's shoulders, and the boy looked at his quizzically. Michael barely ever used his full name, except when they were joking around, but right now Michael's tone was firm and serious, because Jeremy was saying mean things about himself, and Michael didn't like that. Jeremy was amazing, and he needed to know that.

“W-wha-”

“Listen. You're not dumb. I super promise.”

“Bu-”

“ _Shhh_.”

“Mike-”

“ _Shush_.”

“Y-you're ju-” Michael clamped one of his hands over Jeremy's mouth, stopping him from speaking. He squeaked, but didn't push Michael away, and Michael didn't dare pull away. Not until he was done.

“You're my bestest friend ever, which means I gotta always tell you the truth, right?” He paused for a moment to let Jeremy respond, and the boy nodded slowly.

“And I super duper, pinky promise that you're smart. Math is hard. ‘N I don't like it either. But I'm gonna help you, ‘kay? Adding and take aways aren't as hard once you know how ta’ do ‘em. And reading sucks. Just… don't worry ‘bout that stuff. You're not dumb.” He felt Jeremy nodding slightly, and went to move his hand. That is, until he felt something wet and warm, yanking it away quickly to see Jeremy with his tongue out, blowing a raspberry and looking significantly less sad.

“Ew! Did you just lick my hand?” Jeremy giggled as he wiped his spit off of his palm and on his shorts, hearing him mumble a small ‘ _maybe_ ’.

And while Michael thought it was pretty gross that his best friend just licked his hand, which had probably had dirt and germs on- that's why Michael wasn't allowed to put his fingers in his mouth, his mom always swatted his hand away and said he was going to get sick. He didn't want to get Jeremy sick… but hey, at least he was smiling! And his eyes weren't full of tears like they'd been a moment ago. That was a good thing, and Michael could dismiss hand-germs if it meant Jeremy was happy.

“You're gross. That's gross,” Michael grumbled, though he was smiling too, and he felt a smile pulling on his lips. The same smile he always got around Jeremy, and that nice, warm and happy feeling in his chest was present. He liked that a lot.

Jeremy kept his tongue stuck out at him, and Michael poked his cheek lightly.

“Put it back.” They both only laughed harder, Jeremy shaking his head.

“Mm-mh- ow!” Jeremy's tinge darted back into his mouth, him having bitten it during their laughter. Michael snorted, taking off his glasses for a moment since they'd only been getting fogged up from his giggles and the warmth of his face.

“Oh my gosh,” He let out, wiping at his eyes and looking toward Jeremy's now-blurry face with a grin. He couldn't see him too well, but even with his clouded vision the red on Jeremy's cheeks was very visible, but he didn't seem nervous like the other times that happened, just a little frustrated. But he was still laughing, too, so Michael didn't think it was anything too bad.

“What the he-heck, Michael! Y-y-you're supposed to be my f-friend!” Michael took a few breaths to crave his laughter, sliding his thick black frames back onto his face.

“I am. You're just funny, Jermy,” He teased, voice entirely joking, just so Jeremy could tell he wasn't making fun of him.

(Michael had learned that was important, since once he called Jeremy a dummy as a joke, but Jeremy had thought he was serious, and started crying. He spent probably an hour apologizing to him, and they probably hugged for twenty minutes until Jeremy seemed to have run out of tears to cry. Michael felt terrible for making him feel bad, so always made extra sure that Jeremy understood his jokes.)

He stood up from his spot, putting his math book aside and stretching his arms out for a moment, before offering a hand to a slightly confused looking Jeremy.

“D-don't we need to f-finish?” He asked quietly, and Michael just shook his head, giving a small shrug.

“We've been workin’ for a long time. Wanna go play?” He pointed toward the playground, which was mostly empty. Their favourite, since neither of them really liked when there were a lot of kids there at the same time. Plus, the slides and the swings were free. Jeremy took his hand, standing up from his seat eagerly and already beginning to walk to the park, Michael at his side.

“Y-yeah, le-l-let’s go!” Jeremy quickly broke into a run, dragging Michael along, their previous conversation forgotten as they made use of the swings, Michael showing off to Jeremy how he'd learned to jump off and land on his feet without falling. So he tried teaching that to Jeremy, and he got it after a few trips- and maybe one face-plant, but Jeremy just brushed it off and didn't even shed a single tear, which the both of them were proud of- which Michael silently cheered about. Since, he was proving his point, just with something easier, and not as difficult as school. And he vowed to make sure to do that if Jeremy was ever feeling that way, because Jeremy shouldn't be being mean about himself. He was too good for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is meh?? idk. but hey, my kink is crit, so leave some ;)
> 
> also,,, anybody know where i get my titles from? not the first chap, but the main title and for chap two and three? let's see if anyone is as emo as this child. 
> 
> also, i'm fuckin tired. sorry if it's kinda messy. 
> 
> jesus, the italics aren't working. i'll fix it after. gotta mcfuckin blast


End file.
